Ah, parenthood ambivalence. of us . As many do, individuals often search inwardly for a response to the question “Do I want to have children?” We probe the depths of our psyche, excavating the roots of our emotional scars through the prisms of early life experiences. What we find pleasing today may influence our expectation of how youngsters will affect our happiness or unhappiness tomorrow. Within us lies the hidden treasure, waiting patiently to be discovered.
While considering parenthood, most people are advised to have children. Numerous philosophical traditions, including existentialism and constructivism, premise their inquiry on the notion that truth resides securely within individual consciousness. Is the parenthood ambivalence coach Ann Davidman’s “Motherhood ReadabilityTM Course” launched with a guiding principle: “Solutions will arise from within, never leaving; it’s all inside me”?
There are several drawbacks to this approach. As you navigate adulthood, you may dedicate considerable time introspectively examining your conscience, yet still be left with an unsettling sense of ambiguity, akin to the existential shrug symbol 😐. That’s the outcome of introspection – an open-ended quest without bounds: You’ve acquired no means to discern when you’ve sufficiently explored.
This approach grants you a considerable degree of flexibility and accommodates your desires without restraint. As you well understand, having a child is a life-changing decision that cannot be reduced to mere cost-benefit analysis.
Can’t anyone see that having children would only lead to more anxiety and distress in your life? Until you’ve experienced parenthood firsthand, it’s difficult to truly understand what it means to have a child and how your priorities may shift as a result. The very things that bring you joy today may not be the same ones that bring happiness when you’re a parent.
To truly reach a breakthrough, I recommend a paradigmatic shift: one must surpass their internal perspectives and biases to achieve meaningful connections. What’s the one thing that makes you feel uniquely alive when gazing outward at the world, sparking a sense of awe and wonder within?
Because I’m not asking as a result of I believe the ultimate decision lies in determining what values you intend to impart to your child. There is no guarantee that your child will adopt your values. Because the foundation upon which an alternative – rather than discovering the answer – can be made regarding whether or not to have children?
Until this point, you’ve grappled with the children’s inquiry as a fundamentally epistemological concern – your expression “I don’t know how to know” implying a uncertainty about the nature of knowledge itself – but I would propose reframing it as an existential query instead? The existentialist philosophers posited that. Every individual must determine what their personal purpose in life is and take the initiative to create it. As Spanish philosopher José Ortega y Gasset posited, human existence revolves around “autofabricación” – a term that translates to self-creation or self-fashioning, suggesting humanity’s fundamental drive is to shape its own identity and purpose. As one forges their own path, they simultaneously craft their very identity.
Ten years ago, my friend Emily surprised me with a thought-provoking exercise at a park – a web-based quiz that would have a profound impact on me. The list presented numerous values, including those related to friendship, creativity, and personal growth, and asked me to identify my top 10 priorities among them. I had to wear a size 2 swimsuit! I found that the experience was both physically draining and yet, in its own way, enlightening. As my fundamental value proved to be something the quiz, rather aptly termed “the delight of being, pleasure,”
As I revisit the complexities of my mind (thoughts preserved in their original punctuation), I find myself repeatedly pondering “the delight of being, comma, joy” as a guiding principle when faced with making crucial decisions. I revel in the sheer vitality of living on this magnificent planet! As I immerse myself among vibrantly hued marine life, share profound moments with a singular individual, or gaze up at the vast expanse of stars we’re only starting to comprehend, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the privilege of participating in the majestic mystery of existence.
As I reflected on my life, I came to realize that I wanted to become a mom eventually. Deciding to have a child is often considered one of the most significant affirmations of life’s value that an individual can make, especially during times when many people on the planet are grappling with similar existential questions. Living in the present moment means embracing life’s preciousness and shared experience with others.
Let’s get intimate, shall we? Here are five innovative products that have made a significant impact on society? Would I find a sense of fulfillment and purpose by embracing parenthood, or might an alternative path like mentoring or teaching young people resonate even more deeply with my core values? What career or vocational path aligns best with my unique strengths and meets my physical and emotional needs?
The extent to which this succeeds depends heavily on individual perspectives. Three women who place a premium on personal growth and self-improvement: Despite this, individuals may still reach distinct conclusions about children. One woman may find that the potential benefits of parenthood could be a compelling reason to start a family, as she believes having children would enable personal growth and allow her to guide another person through their development. As a creative individual, the second lady’s primary means of personal growth may be through artistic expression, while also nurturing her role as an enthusiastic aunt to her friends’ children. For the third woman, the most likely career trajectory might be to take the vows of a nun. All three are utterly legitimate!
Many individuals grappling with parenthood ambivalence confess that they fear being deprived of an experience singularly their own – a profound connection that transcends comparison. As the specter of FOMO looms large, it’s as if it’s also holding down a job, echoing concerns that life may become unhappy and miserable for those who, at age 70, remain childless alongside their partner.
Many parents proudly attest that their children mean more to them than any other aspect of their lives? The authors Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman bring forth a resplendent new ebook.
While the bond between a parent and child is often considered extraordinary, what if I told you that, from a philosophical perspective, it’s not as remarkable as we think? Isn’t it barely noteworthy at all? To love a child is an experience unlike any other. It isn’t unimaginable. When you’ve encountered love, you’ve essentially cornered it, or something akin to that… The peculiarity of this love doesn’t stem from its uniqueness, mystery, or awe-inspiring nature, but rather from its ease and familiarity.
What if you identify a desire for companionship similar to what children would bring, yet prior to embarking on parenthood, explore alternative ways to fulfill this longing? It’s often overlooked that individuals of all ages can exhibit this trait. Some people find that deep friendships can perfectly fill the void left by parenthood or partnership, providing a sense of connection and belonging without the inherent responsibilities.
Despite considering becoming a parent a unique skillset, my point remains: Other challenges are equally significant! For an artist, the creative rush of bringing a vision to life through painting is unparalleled. Someone involved in political work might tell you that few things compare to the exhilaration of fighting for a just cause and emerging victorious. Many of the problems plaguing this planet are uniquely complex and remarkably challenging.
Don’t allow societal norms and their narrow definitions of beauty to dictate your self-worth. Let our collective endeavors circulate from the profound depths of human existence, where the essence of our shared humanity converges with the whispers of our innermost aspirations. While individual values and preferences may fluctuate greatly over time, it is essential to establish a stable framework for guiding crucial decision-making processes. It’s plausible that even these core values might exhibit slight variations over time, yet aligning your decisions with them ensures you’ll at least have a robust rationale for your actions, regardless of any subsequent emotional fluctuations.
What are our strategic plans to ensure a sustainable future for the organization and its stakeholders? You actually can’t management it. Your goal should be to focus on all achievable outcomes. To remain true to oneself.
